


Clawing Your Way Out Of A Grave

by CapLaPorte



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fade to Black, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Season 5 and beyond spoilers specifically, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) Spoilers, and also surviving war trauma, angst and anger, eventual barrisoka, lashing out against the system, mild implied nsfw stuff, the Galactic Republic continues to be Neoliberal Space Hell, this is about girls being gay and doing crimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:21:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapLaPorte/pseuds/CapLaPorte
Summary: The Clone War has been raging for almost three years. An intergalactic conflict the scale of which hasn't been matched in millennia, billions have already died, been displaced, or enslaved, and billions more have the same done to them every week that the war rages on. In the midst of this, Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano has been fighting since she was 14 years old, the fates of millions have fallen on her shoulders on an almost daily basis. How much destruction has she prevented, or been responsible for? Is what she's fighting for justified? Just what is she fighting for?Ahsoka isn't sure she knows anymore. But maybe there's someone who can help.
Relationships: Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 12
Kudos: 65





	1. awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally brushed up on the Season 5 chronology, but assume this takes place some time between the end of the Onderon Arc and the start of the Barriss Terrorism arc.

Ahsoka’s consciousness returned slowly, and everything about it felt wrong. In sleep, your muscles are meant to be relaxed, recovering, but her body felt sore and overworked, like an old, rotted tree branch being used to prop up a lean-to. Her throat felt raw and she tasted copper, a week's worth of yelling and screaming over the sounds of battle coming back to haunt her. More than anything though, Ahsoka’s very mind felt like it was resisting the pull of wakefulness, rather than the calm emergence into clear waters she was used to, she felt like she was clawing her way out of a grave. She felt like she was in danger.

Immediately, Ahsoka panicked. In the part of her mind that  _ was _ present, that was  _ always _ present, she felt two presences in the room with her, one standing over her, the other by the doorway.  _ A lookout. _ Not giving herself time to think, she let her reflexes take over, thousands of hours of combat and hundreds more of training and learning how the force can guide one’s strikes to land true brought her fist sailing upwards and her weight shifting into a leg sweep along with it.

Before either had even connected, she was blindly groping away from herself with the force, searching for the telltale, familiar signature that marked her sabers. There! They were in their case, held by the assailant on the far side of the room. Ahsoka twisted her waist in preparation to turn her leg sweep into a rebound to launch at the lookout, when unexpectedly, she felt her fist get caught by another hand. Her eyes finally shot open, for the briefest of moments, the durasteel grey of her cabin's walls looked like the endless corridors of a Separatist base, before reality reasserted itself. Her eyes widened in fear and she desperately tried to wrench her hand free, but the grip of the man standing over her was solid as rock. 

With a frightened yell, Ahsoka  _ threw  _ all of her weight into her extending leg- and then doubled over in pain as the overtired muscles all painfully seized up. She tried to throw her other leg around, but found it wouldn’t bend at the knee, and felt far heavier than she was used to. They must have already injured her. Acting on pure fight or flight, she just tried to push away from the man with her other hand, but that limb too was easily grabbed and disabled. So this was it? This was how Ahsoka would finally go?

With a click that felt as sudden and overwhelming as being blinded with a floodlight after wandering in the dark, Ahsoka began to hear again.

“-soka! Ahsoka! Relax, you’re safe, it’s okay!” Master Skywalker's voice? Some kind of Sith trick, Anakin would never try to attack her.

Ahsoka kept struggling, though her limbs already felt exhausted, like her muscles were about to snap, bones about to shatter. She rapidly turned her head around the room, looking for anything she could use to gain the advantage. On the far side, where the lookout was, Rex stood with a look of concern etched on his stern features.

“Rex, run!” She tried to shout, but her voice came out hoarse and feeble, she wasn’t sure he’d even heard her. 

“Ahsoka!” Skywalker’s voice wasn’t yelling, but it was firm and commanding, a tone he rarely took these days that prompted Ahsoka to instinctively look up towards the source. It  _ looked _ like Skywalker, but why would he be here? He was supposed to be on the surface of… Satindor? Onderon? Wherever, right? “Relax, you’re safe, you’re okay. You’re on the 501st Venator, look, Rex is here, right?”

“Uh- Yes, sir. Ma’am. Uh, Commander. General.” Rex sounded fr- no, not frightened, she realized, just awkward.    


“Breath, Ahsoka, slowly, relax.” Anakin’s deep, concerned voice suddenly felt like a rock she could latch onto, despite her earlier misgivings. Right, breath. She didn’t realize it till now, but she’d been breathing fast. Really fast. Her head started to come down from the clouds she hadn’t even realized it was in as her breathing slowed. 

What just happened? Oh. Oh Force. Ahsoka felt her face turn a darker shade of orange than normal as she blinked the sleep out of her eyes and refocused her gaze on Anakin, who was- yep. Standing over her, firmly but carefully holding her arms. He met her eyes. “You back with us Ahsoka?”

“Yeah-” Her throat grated against the word, it felt like there was a rock lodged in her neck. Fortunately, Anakin let go of her as she collapsed and devolved into a fit of coughing. By the end of it, Ahsoka was feeling lightheaded again, but she propped herself up against the wall her cot’s pillow rested against nonetheless. Rex had put down her lightsaber case and come closer to the bed, still standing at attention in the way clones did when they weren’t quite sure what else to do. Ahsoka sighed as she put together why exactly he’d been holding her sabers in the first place. “Sorry Master, sorry Rex. I didn’t mean to wake you… again.”

“Ahsoka.” Anakin’s voice was firm, and she scooted away from the edge of the bed to give him room as he sat down and turned to her. “You remember what we talked about last time?”

Ahsoka averted her eyes. Of course she remembered, she’d been doing everything in her power to avoid it. She’d had four other… episodes, since the last time he’d caught her, but this was the worst one yet. “Master, please,” she pleaded, turning back to him, “I’m okay, it’s really not that bad-”

“Come  _ on,  _ Ahsoka, we both know that’s not true.” Anakin stood and crossed his arms, cocking his hip  _ just so _ in that way Obi-Wan does. “You’re not okay, ‘Soka. I know your squad’s been covering for you-” he shot a raised eyebrow at Rex, who straightened up even more than before- “but your combat effectiveness is dropping, you’re tired all the time, you’re  _ obviously _ struggling, you need to take some time off.”

“Master!” Said Ahsoka, glaring up in protest. “I’m  _ fine _ , okay, so I haven’t been getting the best sleep-”

“-you’ve been screaming bloody murder in your sleep, all night if we don’t stop you, yes-”

“- _ but _ you  _ need _ me here, there’s too much going on on-planet for just one Jedi to handle!”

Anakin nodded once. “Well, yeah. You got me there.” Ahsoka started to smirk, but her expression froze as Anakin continued. “Which is why I’ve asked the temple to send Master Plo Koon to take over for you.”

The Togruta Padawan stared at her Master for a moment, uncomprehending. Then she blinked, and exploded. “YOU WHAT!?” 

“Whoa! Ahsoka, relax!” Anakin stepped back two paces as she struggled to her feet, the temporary brace on her left leg making it more cumbersome than normal. 

Dozens of emotions were flying through Ahsoka’s head. From anger at her Master for superseding her with no warning, to shame for her own weakness, to desperation to convince him to take it back. They all came tumbling out in a cascade of confused stuttering. “Master! Why would you- are you? You don’t have to do this! Please,  _ please _ give me another chance, Master, I-” Ahsoka took one step towards him, then another, then her legs gave out, feeling like jelly under her, and she collapsed in front of her Master. “Please don’t send me back to Coruscant,  _ please, _ I-... I don’t want to let you down…” Her head felt woozy from getting up too quickly, and she swayed on the spot where she had fallen.

“Ahsoka…” Anakin said as he knelt down in front of her, his clear blue eyes seeming to pierce through her. Ahsoka tried to hold his gaze, but her vision was blurred, for some reason. “I need you to listen to me now, okay?” 

Ahsoka looked down sullenly, and saw twin drops of clear liquid fall from her face. She was crying? For how long? She sniffled, and hoped Anakin hadn’t noticed.

“Ahsoka, hey.” Anakin caught her attention again, and gently grabbed her shoulders in that reassuring, big-brothery way that always- well,  _ usually _ made Ahsoka feel better. “Okay?”

“Okay…” Ahsoka muttered.

Anakin squeezed her shoulders. “You are  _ not _ letting me down Ahsoka. You are one of the best, one of the most trustworthy, and honest, and  _ good _ Jedi I’ve ever had the honour to fight with, I am so, so proud of you.” 

“Master…” Anakin wasn’t one for idle praise, and despite herself, Ahsoka felt a warm glow in her stomach. More tears joined the small wet spots that were already on the ground.

“But Ahsoka, I need you to understand that I  _ know _ you, I know when something is wrong, we’ve been through the grinder together again and again and again. And I am telling you, something is  _ wrong _ whether you’ll admit it or not.” Anakin gave her shoulders one last reassuring squeeze and stood. “I’m sending you back to the temple for a mandatory two week leave,  _ minimum. _ I want you to see a Jedi Counsellor, be  _ honest _ with them about what’s going on, and then follow their recommendations.”

A part of her still wanted to lash out angrily, to demand he tell Plo Koon to return. But… she was just so, so tired. A deeper tiredness than just lack of sleep. The kind of tiredness that pervaded every inch of her body, every breath she took and every sentence she said. The kind of tiredness that made you want to lash out at yourself for even feeling it. So instead, she said simply “Yes, Master.”

“Good, I’m worried for you Ahsoka.” Anakin said. Ahsoka just mumbled something in response, barely even registering what he had said. “Also, Rex will be joining you on your way to Coruscant.” 

Ahsoka blinked, and turned halfheartedly. She saw Rex wearing a similar expression to her own, and they both started to talk at the same time. 

“What? Master, come on,  _ please _ , I do  _ not _ need a babysitter!”

“Sir. Commander Tano definitely does  _ not _ need a babysitter.”

“Uh-huh.” Anakin cocked an eyebrow, wearing an imitation of the deeply unamused expression Obi-Wan only wore when he was  _ extremely _ amused. “Well, it’s actually just a matter of convenient timing. Rex, I was gonna tell you in a more formal setting, but kriff it. You’ve been chosen to be the face and voice of a publicity campaign ordered by the Supreme Chancellor’s office. It’ll only last a couple of weeks, but they’re going to have you in the studios for hours on end, doing interviews, little scenes for promotional stuff, the works. As a capstone, you’ve also been invited to join a Joint Grand Army Command meeting that will be taking place partway through your stay as a trial to see ‘if Clones are ready to be included in strategic meetings,’ as if you aren’t all running the show on the ground anyway.”

Rex gaped comedically at his General. “Uh, General Skywalker, with all due respect,  _ what? _ ” 

Anakin’s expression turned  _ extremely _ pointedly neutral. “Whatever do you mean, Captain?”

“Well, first, why the kriff am  _ I _ the one who has to do this?” Rex asked, clearly overwhelmed.

Anakin smiled. “Why, you certainly seem more than qualified! Even if you haven’t made Commander yet, it’s no secret you’re my primary advisor when it comes to strategic matters. I don’t doubt there’s a friend somewhere that put a good word in the Chancellor's ear.” If Ahsoka didn’t know Anakin better, she’d have said his sudden smile looked benevolent, bordering on angelic. But of course, Ahsoka did know Anakin better, he was obviously being a smarmy little shit.

Rex had obviously caught on by this point too, and he just gave Anakin a long suffering, resigned glare. “Yes, sir.” 

“Don’t worry Rex, you’ll do fine, you deserve a break too, anyway. Besides, you’ll be helping your brothers. Those pompous a-… uh, Generals, at High Command don’t seem to really see Clones as… y’know, people, quite yet. Maybe you can help convince them.” Anakin shrugged. “Anyway, ‘Soka, Rex, you’ve got six hours until departure, try to get some actual sleep before then, okay?” With that, Anakin flashed them both another shit eating grin, and strode out. 

“He sure… changes his tune on the drop of a hat.” Rex said, glancing at Ahsoka. She just sighed and nodded.

“Seeya in a few hours, Rex.”


	2. flight

The familiar buzz between your ears that indicated a hyperdrive spinning up was what brought Ahsoka out of her half-sleeping daze. She'd managed to fall back asleep, this time without night terrors, after Anakin and Rex had left. Vaguely, she remembered staggering her way to the Coruscant-bound shuttle, where she'd apparently fallen back to sleep. 

Ahsoka pushed herself up from the row of plasteel and cloth seats she'd been lying across, and immediately winced. Montrals… _weren't_ very comfortable to sleep on without a pillow, especially when they were as large as hers. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes with one hand while groping for the armrest release with the other. A soft _click_ later and she let herself slump down against the newly deployed sides of her chair. 

"Sleep better, Commander?" Rex's voice came from somewhere ahead and to her right. 

"Mmhmm," Ahsoka replied, "thanks Rex." Finally, after what seemed like far too long, her vision began to clear and she got her bearings. Huh. A full on civil transport, designed to ferry close to 150 commuters a dozen times a standard day, and her and Rex were the only ones in the passenger compartment. After blinking dumbly at her surroundings for a moment, she turned to the Clone Captain, sitting bolt upright in his cleanly pressed grey dress uniform. "Hey Rex, isn't this a bit… much?"

He sighed, looking all kinds of uncomfortable out of his armour. " _Apparently_ , this transport has been provided to us as part of my publicity… stuff. Main reason is the cargo hold, got some old equipment from 501st stocks they want me to pose with." 

Ahsoka snorted. "Is that so?" That was just like the Chancellor's Office, she'd never bring it up in front of Anakin, but they were notorious for cutting corners. Ahsoka leaned an elbow on her armrest and rested her chin on her hand. "So Rex," she said, "how _are_ you feeling about the publicity campaign?"

The clone grimaced, making his feelings on it all too clear. “I’m… not exactly excited, Commander. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an honour, but I’d rather be with my brothers, or at least have some of them here with me.”

Ahsoka nodded. “Yeah, I get that.”

Rex just shrugged and said “To be perfectly honest, Commander, the part I’m _really_ worried about is the High Command meeting.”

The Padawan cocked her head. “Really? I figured you’d be more comfortable with that than the publicity.”

“Posing for, well let’s be honest, propaganda, is easy. Just have to read lines, stand where they want, look _stern_ and _powerful_.” Rex sighed and slouched into his chair. “But the High Command… General Skywalker sat me down before we left and started giving me all these instructions about who to listen to and ignore and who might support Clone’s rights and who’s politically this way or that way and _blah blah blah._ ” Rex trailed off and kicked at the air in a way that was surprisingly childlike. It was a gesture that, among others, Ahsoka had seen amongst the Clones when they let their guard down. The small tics that betrayed the age their appearance belied. Clones might be mostly as mature as any adult, but how much of that impression came from their military training on Kamino? It was easy to forget that most of these soldiers were just coming up on their twelfth or thirteenth birthday, a fact that the Chancellor’s Office was not very keen to advertise. Rex continued after a moment, “Well, you’ve heard it a thousand times, Commander. ‘Clones don’t like to get political,’ but it sounded like there’s going to be more _politics_ in that meeting than actual _strategy_.”

Ahsoka nodded, and leaned back in her seat, slouching down part way so her legs could reach the opposite row of seats. “That’s just how the Republic is, unfortunately.”

“I _guess_ , I just didn’t expect General Skywalker to care so much about it.”

“Oh man,” Ahsoka said, giving a snort, “you misunderstood him if you think his explanations meant he _liked_ it. Anakin _hates_ politics, as far as he’s concerned, the only reason the Republic hasn’t won the war yet is because the Senate and Jedi Council won’t let the Chancellor ‘do what needs to be done,’ whatever _that_ is.”

Rex cocked an eyebrow. “And you don’t agree?”

“I… don’t know.” The Padawan sighed again, slouching even further. “ _Yeah_ , there’s useless politics in the Senate sometimes, I’ve been there with Senator Amidala and watched them just _bicker_ and not reach any agreement for hours on end. But I don’t think giving the Head of Government unlimited power is the answer. I swear, sometimes it feels like the Chancellor is even egging them on when they start to argue in circles.”

“And the High Command?”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “Assholes. Almost all of them.” Rex grinned at her language, and Ahsoka paused for a moment, thinking. She couldn’t offer Rex any… practical advice on dealing with the politics, but his comments had reminded her of something. She sat back up and met Rex’s eyes. “Y’know, there’s something Senator Amidala once said to me. ‘War is a continuation of politics by other means.’ I’m _pretty_ sure it’s just a quote from some old General that she gave a different meaning to, but I liked how she explained it. War happens because what we normally think of as ‘politics’ has failed. When you’re… I don’t know, introducing a bill on the Senate floor, you always have to remember what your actual goal is, or it might get amended right out without you even realizing. But the same thing can happen in a war. If the Government, and the Generals, and the Admirals and Commodores and Commanders and Lieutenants and Captains, and even individual soldiers _forget_ what their goal is… forget _why_ they’re fighting… it turns into a war for war’s sake.” Ahsoka took a breath and looked at Rex, who’s face had creased into a deep frown. “Do _you_ know why you’re fighting, Rex?”

His frown deepened. “Well, for the Republic, right?”

“That’s _who_ you’re fighting for, but _why_ Rex?”

The Clone Captain’s mouth worked up and down a few times, and he started to talk before cutting himself off. Finally, he said “I guess… I guess I don’t really know, Commander. I’m just fighting because it’s what I was told to do.” He looked uncomfortable.

Ahsoka nodded and dropped her gaze to the floor. “I know, Rex.”

“What about you, Commander?” Rex asked. Ahsoka froze as her mind processed the question. “What are you fighting for?”

It was a ridiculous question, right? She was a Jedi, what else would she be fighting for? The good of the galaxy, to protect those who cannot protect themselves, but… But nothing, that was it, the Jedi were _peacekeepers_ , she was fighting to restore the peace, of course. Her mouth stayed shut though, as if betraying her mental certainty. No… No. Everything felt wrong about those answers. The good of the galaxy? What _good_ had she been a part of in the past few months? Was it _good_ when she escorted a bomber squadron to attack a shield generator factory that was _actively_ being worked by civilians? _Yes_ , they were Separatists, but weren’t they also ‘those who cannot protect themselves’? If she was fighting to keep the peace, why did her fleet seem to be _attacking_ planets more than it _defended_ them. What _kind_ of peace was she restoring? She remembered seeing the clone garrisons arrive to support the new, pro-Republic governments of planets she had helped liberate. If there was to be peace on former Separatist planets, would it always be at the end of a rifle? Could that be called peace?

Ahsoka’s mouth felt dry as she opened it, and a knot of… something, some kind of anxiety, or a pit of crawling dread, had formed in her stomach. “I… guess I don’t really know either, Rex.”

They were silent for the rest of the trip to Coruscant.


	3. padmé

Ahsoka breathed in, held… and let it out. The further they had gone through hyperspace towards Coruscant, the clearer her mind had felt. Meditating on the way had proven a smart choice, she still felt as tightly wound as a chronometer, mentally, but her body had at least relaxed.

“Five minutes to disembarkment.” The pilot droid’s voice buzzed through the vessel. It looked like Rex was already waiting by the shuttle door, back straight as a lightsaber, as usual. 

“Is it  _ really _ more comfortable to stand at attention when it’s just the two of us, Rex? You know I don’t mind.” Ahsoka said, stretching on the spot.

Captain Rex shrugged and slouched slightly. “Force of habit, Commander. Decorum like that’s been beaten into me since birth.”

Ahsoka frowned and looked at the Clone seriously. “Beaten?”

Rex shrank and gave her a sheepish grin. “Ah- figure of speech Commander, sorry.”

“Mmhm…” Ahsoka hummed. “If you say so, Rex. I know Master Shaak-Ti is overseeing the Clone training now, but I’ve definitely heard  _ rumours  _ about the Kaminoan training programs."

The Captain shrugged uncomfortably, seemingly even more upright and tense than before. "Well…" 

He was interrupted by their pilot droid's voice once again droning through the ship speakers. "Arriving at Coruscant Spaceport Gate B78, please disembark promptly once the doors have opened."

“Well, we better get going Commander!” Rex said quickly, scooping up his meager travel bag. “Your bags in the cargo hold?”

Ahsoka shook her head. “I’ve got all a Jedi travels with right here,” she said, and patted her saber hilts.

Rex just grinned and shook his head. “Right.”

A moment later, the transport’s door opened with a  _ hiss _ of releasing hydraulics. There was a slight pressure differential between the Coruscanti atmosphere and the artificial atmosphere of the ship, so the hiss of the hydraulics was joined shortly by a gentle rush of air tinged with the smells of the city. It was like breathing gaseous nostalgia, Ahsoka thought as she stepped down the unfolding shuttle stairs. How long had it been since she’d been at the Capital? A few months, at least. But it had stayed the same, she could already tell, in that strange way cities do despite being constantly in motion. The force felt alive around her in a way it never could away from the planet of two trillion souls. It was almost overwhelming, like ten dozen invisible hands all beckoning her to look in different directions, on top of the already eye catching physical sights and attention-seeking noises that crowded her perception. 

Underneath the gentle nostalgia though, in that spot in the pit of her stomach that functioned as both instinct and anxiety, she could feel…  _ something _ . Something gnawing at her,  _ pulling _ at the core of her being. She couldn’t place the feeling, but something about it felt familiar. She shook her head, filing the thought away, and as much as she could, she pushed it to the back of her mind, along with the part of her that sensed all these people’s emotions echoing in the imprint of the force around her. Ahsoka pressed her lips together and gave herself a small nod, she was in control, she wasn’t going to freak out again today. 

“Ahsoka, is that you?” A smooth, perfectly controlled alto called out, a voice used to projecting itself over a din without shouting.

Ahsoka snapped her gaze in the direction of the main exit from the platform to meet the familiar voice. “Senator Amidala?” She asked before seeing her, already knowing the answer.

“ _ Padawan _ Tano,” Padmé answered with a smirk, calmly walking forward to meet the young Jedi.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “Okay,  _ Padmé  _ then, but when I slip up next time you visit the Temple, it’s up to  _ you  _ to explain why I’m on a first name basis with a major Senator.”

Padmé laughed as the two of them embraced warmly. “I don’t know about  _ major _ Senator, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.” Ahsoka felt her face heat up as they held the hug for a few moments, but quickly cleared her mind as Padmé held her by the shoulders and looked her up and down. “You’ve grown!” Padmé declared. She squeezed one of Ahsoka’s biceps. “Lots of muscle, but you’re still too skinny, just like Anakin.”

Ahsoka just pursed her lips and tried not to laugh while the Senator began her fussing routine as they walked through the terminal. It was a familiar rhythm to fall into. For a while, before she had turned sixteen, Padmé had been as present in her life as Anakin was. It was fairly obvious he and Padmé were… ‘friends.’ Yeah, Ahsoka shrugged mentally, she’ll just think of them like that. But it was comfortable. Ahsoka and Padmé had grown close enough during her time still living at the Temple, that even if an assignment was deemed too dangerous for a Padawan to accompany on, she would stay with Padmé while she waited for Anakin to return. 

Padmé quieted as they turned onto the main boulevard of the Senate District. Ahsoka glanced sidelong at her. Padmé’s outfit was still the kind of effortless elegance that made Ahsoka… not  _ jealous _ , since jealousy wasn’t the Jedi way and any such thought was most assuredly banished from her mind the instant it formed, obviously. But…  _ wanting _ . If that was any better. A simple, form fitting white shirt and pants (miraculously unstained despite a long walk through a spaceport), brought together by a light brown belt, bracelets, and necklace. Oh Force, how long had it been since Ahsoka had cared at all about  _ fashion?  _ The frontlines must be getting to her. Padmé looked over at the Padawan curiously, startling Ahsoka with the knowledge that, wow, yes she  _ had _ grown, she was looking Padmé straight on in the eyes.

“So,” Ahsoka said, breaking off eye contact, “how’d you know I was coming?”

“Anakin told me, he thought it might be nice for someone to meet you at the spaceport.” Padmé said, smiling at the Padawan.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “How kind of him to make you drop your Senatorial work to babysit me.”

“Come now,” Padmé frowned and stopped walking to face the Padawan. “He’s worried about you, you know. I am too.”

Ahsoka felt her face heat up again, and something twisted inside of her at the words. “You  _ don’t _ need to be worried about me, okay? I’m fine. I just… need some time off, probably.”

Padmé just pursed her lips and hummed, turning back towards the Senate building. “Well, it’s fine anyway. Senator Chuchi is writing the first draft of a bill we’re collaborating on right now, so there’s nothing for me to do quite yet.”

Ahsoka danced out of the way of a veritable baggage train of street food sellers making their pilgrimage down to the mid-city, before her mind caught up with the conversation. “Oh? You’re working with Riyo?” She asked, smiling at the thought of the passionate Pantoran Senator. 

Padmé grinned. “Oh yes, fiery young thing, isn’t she? We’re aiming to put together a coalition to get a bill through that…  _ redistributes  _ some of the emergency powers that the Supreme Chancellor has centralized to his Office.”

“Mmhmm,” Ahsoka hummed, nodding sagely, “no doubt it will receive an equal amount of floor time and consideration at peak attendance hours, as should be expected of any bill handling such a wide-ranging topic, and will not be clearly overshadowed by any sort of pro-war discussions.” 

Padmé gave her a flat look, but couldn’t keep a smirk from rising to the surface. Ahsoka was all too aware of Padmé’s complaints about the Senate. With Anakin often not willing to hear about even a stiff breeze that blew against the Supreme Chancellor, Ahsoka had often been the one that Padmé vented to when she didn’t want to involve her colleagues in the Senate.

“Well,” Ahsoka said as they approached the Temple-Line skybus platform in front of the Senate building, “you and Riyo let me know if I can help at all, Force knows I’ll be bored out of my montrals in a few days.”

Padmé paused in front of the skybus for a moment, then snapped her fingers and turned to Ahsoka. “Right! I nearly forgot, Anakin wanted me to remind you to get an appointment with the Counsellors ASAP, apparently their queues can run somewhat long, so the sooner the better.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “Right, right, I’ll do it first thing tomorrow, okay?”

Padmé nodded, “Okay,” and hugged Ahsoka again. “Don’t hesitate to call me if you need me, or a meal that’s better than  _ Temple rations _ .” She said the last part with all the disdain of a person who  _ had _ actually eaten lunch at the Jedi Temple before. The Senator let go of Ahsoka and gave her a gentle push towards the skybus.

“Will do, seeya Padmé,” Ahsoka shot over her back as she boarded. She jammed her datacard into the notoriously buggy scanner port (which thankfully deigned to spit it back out at her this time) and squeezed through to the top of the skybus. 

“Oh! Ahsoka!” Padmé’s voice rang out from below. Her voice could cut through a din when she was projecting, but when she was  _ yelling _ ? She could knock Master Yoda out of his meditation from the bottom of the Temple. Ahsoka leaned over the side of the skybus with a grin, ignoring the brightly flashing holowarning about keeping arms and legs inside the vehicle. Padmé caught sight of her and waved. “Don’t forget to call Ani! He’ll miss you, but he won’t call first!”

Ahsoka affected an upper class Coruscanti accent and shouted back, “ _ Yes, mother! _ ” But her smile dropped as Padmé seemed to freeze and break eye contact at the second word. The reaction only lasted a moment, but moment-long reactions were what Ahsoka had trained for most of her life to be sensitive to. She smiled uneasily and waved once again to the cheerily waving Padmé, but then retreated back into the bounds of the second level of the bus and sank into her seat. 

She hadn’t known Padmé to get hangups about joking quips about her mother-henning nature before. Had something changed? Was it just a weird thing to say after having been gone so long? Ahsoka shook her head, feeling the slight G’s as the bus took off towards the Temple. Maybe it was just insensitive, no doubt Padmé had worried about her while she was on deployment, she’d probably just had to suppress her mother-y instincts and it might’ve stung to be reminded. Or something. Ahsoka could sight read opposing lightsaber duelists with ease, but when it came to judging others emotions? Well, she was just glad she had a connection to the Force.

Speaking of which, she cleared her mind, performing her pre-meditation breathing exercises without actually sinking in. Apparently her room had been kept for her at the Temple, and, she decided, she had earned a quiet night of solitude.


	4. the job

Asajj Ventress met the Ithorian bartender’s wide, beady eyes as she downed her third Geonosian Plasmaball without changing expression. She was, admittedly, cheating a bit. The dark side is a pathway to many abilities some would consider unnatural, including suppressing physical pain, something Asajj had been finding increasingly useful of late to more quickly escape the dullness of being _sober_ on _Coruscant_.

“Another,” she growled, palming another credit chit onto the bar. The Ithorian waggled it’s ugly mug in what she could only assume was a ‘yes’ and trundled away. Asajj warily eyed the empty bottles of Corellian Whiskey and Weequay-Cinnadrink that it left next to the shaker on it’s side of the counter. Had she drank that much already? Didn’t fucking feel like it.

Asajj spun her stool around and leaned back onto the bar, taking a proper look around the nightclub for the first time since she’d sauntered in. A few curious eyes quickly averted their gaze as she scanned the dimly lit room. Coruscanti nightclubs were awful. It was truly incredible how the prudish stuck-upedness of the Senate managed to penetrate all the way down into the undercity to specifically make Asajj’s life boring as fuck. Even the bounty hunting had nothing on some of the Outer Rim contracts Asajj had seen when she was still- 

She balled her fists and growled loudly enough that moments later the stools to either side of her had been vacated. A spike of anger, no longer raw but filed to a thin, deadly point once again came to the forefront of Asajj’s mind and- fucking damnit. She was making the lights dim again, too fucking overt. Asajj sighed and shook her head, no point thinking about the Outer Rim or _Him_ tonight, not much she could do without a ship.

The pale woman blinked a few times and looked back up as the red receded from her vision. Maybe she had missed something actually fucking interesting on her first look around? She zeroed in on the dancefloor, where strobing laserlights and a gentle fog masked bodies throwing themselves to and fro. Yeah, there were people dancing, but it was _Inner Rim_ dancing, which hardly suited what Asajj was _interested_ in.

Although… she leaned in, squinting and swaying side to side as her vision unfocused and refocused. _Hello_. A pretty little Togrutan thing standing in a group by the dancefloor was looking between her friends and Asajj with a tantalizingly demure expression on her face. The Dathomirian licked her lips and stood- ach, a little too quickly- and distantly sensed the Ithorian come back behind her. 

“Your drink,” it said, the speakers on it’s twin mouths translating it’s weird, whale sounding Ithorian language into Basic. Without looking, Asajj reached back and snatched the cup- oh, larger than the shot glasses of her first three- and once again downed it in one. That… was a _lot_ of Plasmaball. Was the fucking bartender trying to kill her?

Asajj spun back around towards the bar, nearly overshooting but throwing the force out to her side in time to stop herself suddenly. Across the room, someone’s drink inexplicably spilled into their lap. The lights dimmed again. She laughed out loud, though most might’ve described it as a cackle, and almost hoped she had alerted some Jedi spy. She reached out and grabbed the Ithorian’s shirt, tugging him towards her. “ _Next time I…_ ” She blinked. Ithorian’s eyes are… fucking big, huh? And… far apart. Kinda stupid looking. She was looking this bartender in just one of it’s eyes. Eh, at least it looked panicked enough. Oh, what was she saying? “ _Uh. Order a drink, make it in a good size!_ ” Yeah, that sounded right. Without a second thought she tossed him back towards his side of the bar, ignoring the sound of empty glass bottles being knocked over. Now where was she? Ah, the Togruta girl.

Ooh, she had moved to the dance floor, but she was sticking close to the edge, almost as if- a sidelong glance that the Togruta quickly cut off confirmed Asajj’s suspicions. The amber skinned woman had been _waiting_ for her to look, and now as she started to dance… yes. Asajj could see why, that was a _very interesting_ dance. Asajj let herself smile predatorily, supposedly Togruta were into that kind of thing, and it came naturally to her anyway. Feeling confident, she started to slink towards the flashing lights. 

She only made it a metre however, before an unfamiliar pressure on her unarmoured shoulder brought her to a halt. Asajj frowned and jerked against it once. Her frown deepened as it stayed firm. The Dathomirian sighed and finally accepted that someone had been moronic enough as to lay their hand on her shoulder. Her whole body tensed at once in a way that was incredibly visible and reeked of imminent violence, like a cat preparing to pounce. Did she flex the bare arm that was visible to the dancefloor a little more than the other? That’s not your fucking business.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Eugh, another _man_. This one had a pompous sounding Uppercity accent. Like, _upper_ Uppercity, the kinda Uppercity accent that could get you a ‘legitimate’ bounty on your head if you pissed it off. 

Still, that didn’t mean she had to be _nice._ Asajj let her body relax halfway and turned around, shrugging the hand off of her shoulder. “ _What?_ ” She asked with a sneer. 

A burly Weequay stared back at her for a moment, before he stepped aside to let the owner of the accent through. A surprisingly unassuming older human met her gaze evenly. Asajj stood a good four or five inches over him, and his facial structure was nearly angular enough to match Ventress’ own. His clothes weren’t ostentatious, but were clearly fine, most certainly a level of material and craftsmanship above anyone else in the club. He met her sneer with a welcoming smile. _A politician then_ , Ventress thought. “You are… Baneback, yes?” Ah, her Bounty Hunting alias, a little tribute to her home planet.

Asajj glanced behind her at the Togruta girl, who appeared to be watching the interaction with interest. A chance to impress her before reeling her in for the night, perhaps? She fixed her gaze back on the Uppercity human and folded her arms over her chest. “Who’s asking?”

He stared back at her appraisingly for a moment before nodding. “Come, sit.” Asajj’s upper lip twisted in irritation, but she forced herself to breathe a moment before following him to his table. Ah, at least this one had a view of the dance floor. Asajj kept her gaze fixed on the Togruta girl as the human stared at her. Oh, that’s _delightful_ , the little minx blushed a vibrant orange when Asajj shot her a wink. The Uppercity man cleared his throat. “I have a business proposition for you.”

Bleh, his accent reminded her of what an even _snootier_ Kenobi would sound like. She looked back at him and squinted. “Then put it up on the bounty board and I’ll take a look, now if you’ll _excuse me_.”

“This _matter_ ,” he declared in a tone that brought his two Weequay muscles-for-brains sidling up to block her exit, “requires a more _private_ touch.”

Ventress seethed in her seat. She was _trying_ to get _laid_ here. And now the Weequay were even blocking her view! “Tell _them_ to fucking _move_ and I’ll hear you out.”

The man paused for one pompous second, and then nodded and waved the thugs away. Seeing the view of her quarry return, Asajj zeroed in on the Togruta, and the two made eye contact. So she _had_ been looking for her. The Dathomirian smirked at the amber skinned beauty, who blushed that bright orange again in response, but this time kept up with a sultry smile that made Ventress shiver in her seat. Ugh, the human was still talking. Just as she thought that, he paused, and a quick glance made it clear he was waiting for a response. “Oh yes, of course.” She drawled uncaringly. _Hurry the fuck up and leave me alone._

“Good, good, now, it’s important to note that the target…” His voice faded back into the background as she refocused on the amber Togruta. Oh, she was _dancing_ again, _very_ nice. Asajj zoned out as she watched the Togruta move almost hypnotically to the pounding rhythm of the club music. She was lithe and muscular, as Togruta tended to be, and watching her muscles contract and extend under her bright skin as she danced was quickly eroding Ventress’s patience with the human that had cornered her.

Asajj’s eyes widened as the Togruta maintained eye contact and started to dance in a way that suggested a Twi’Lek bellydance, by the _Force_ that girl could move! Alright, fuck this, she would do literally anything to be over there instead of right here. Reluctantly, she broke her eye contact with the Togruta and turned back to the human. He was droning on about something to do with the Senate, for some ungodly reason. Fucking whatever, he probably just wanted her to get some mistress out of the picture, which, hm. Now that she thought about it, that painted an enticing picture for her on it’s own, hopefully that _was_ what he wanted. “Hey, hey!” She interrupted him. “Fucking listen, I’m in, encrypt the details and send them to my holoaddress, alright?”

He blinked. “Y-You’re sure? I did not think you would be so _interested_ in the-”

“Yes, I’m ‘ _interested_ ,' here.” Asajj jammed her hand into one of the pouches strapped to her thigh while she continued to watch the Togruta out of the corner of her eye. Her cards eluded her in the spacious little pocket until she sighed irritably and, as subtly as she could, reached out to the force to will them to her hand. “ _Here!_ ” She repeated, and slammed one down on the table as she launched to her feet. “ _Now_ , if you’ll _excuse_ me.”

“I- Yes, ah, of course.” The human seemed taken aback by her insistence on taking the job and quick departure. “We’ll be in touch!” His voice was already fading into the background as she strode to the dancefloor. Asajj met the Togruta’s sultry smile with one of her own this time as she got closer. _Fucking. Finally._

* * *

_Breeeeep. Breeeeep. Breeeeep. Breeeeep._

Asajj Ventress groaned and buried her head further back into her pillows. By the force her head fucking _hurt._ Downside to nullifying the sting of alcohol with the force: it made it much easier to keep consuming alcohol past when one should likely stop. Normally it’d be easy enough to meditate through the hangover, but that’d mean crawling out from under her nice, dark, warm bedsheets, and _that_ was one thing she was not willing to do.

_Breeeeep. Breeeeep. Breeeeep. Breeeeep._

That accursed electronic _wailing_ though, she could not put up with. Well, better to do it fast, like ripping off a medipatch. Asajj tensed, and then in one motion sat herself up and threw the pile of blankets off of herself. _Euuuuugh_. The midday Coruscanti sun always managed to peek into the nook that Asajj’s apartment hid in within the upper Lowercity at the _worst_ times. Fortunately, a quirk of Dathomirian physiology meant that her eyes weren’t light sensitive while hungover, something she had heard was a painful morning after lesson for most humanoids. _Unfortunately_ , she was no more immune to the dizziness and nausea than anyone else, and after she had slammed her fist down onto her holopad to open whatever notification was causing that _racket_ , she staggered to her tiny bathroom.

There, she stood over the sink, braced herself against the counter around it, and just stared down into it’s semi-reflective burnished durasteel depths. _Just breathe Ventress, you’ve been through worse than this_. Hm, she idly thought, in a general sense that’s probably true, but this was easily the _worst_ hangover she’d ever had. The former Sith stayed like that for… some time, she wasn’t sure how long she just stood willing herself not to vomit, actually. Anywhere between a few minutes and an hour. Somewhere in there.

Finally, she felt secure enough to chance looking up at herself in the mirror. _Oh by the fucking force._ Had her job yesterday before the bar really gone _that_ badly? Mottled purple marks marred her body from her neck, down her chest, down below where the mirror cut off. Gingerly, she let go of the counter and pressed a finger against the worst looking spot on her neck. Well… it didn’t _hurt_. That was good, probably. Hold on. She squinted, and pressed a bit harder on the spot before pulling her finger across it. The purple mark _smeared_ and, yes, that texture…

Ah.

It was lipstick. A barrage of confused mental images of coiling, writhing amber limbs and a pair of lips coloured a gaudy purple suddenly cascaded across her memory. Ah. _Very_ nice. Feeling somewhat more confident in her locomotive abilities, she turned and grabbed her bathrobe off of the back of her bathroom door, donning it quickly. No point in staining the furniture any more than it already was. 

Hm, looked like the Togruta girl had hit the bricks already. A shame. What was her name again? Anisha? Aishi? Something to that effect- ah, look, she left a little note on the kitchenette. Ouh… ‘call me,’ huh? Along with her holoaddress. Asajj was pleased to know she still had game, that encounter had ended one bastard of a dry spell. Speaking of holoaddress… she turned to the interface projection hovering over her ‘work desk’ where her holopad sat. Hmph, she had opened the message that disturbed her sleep when she’d slammed the pad on her way to the washroom. It looked like… a target profile? Lacking the official seals of the Bounty Board, which… wasn’t great.

Hold on.

Oh no. No, no, no, _no._ This job… had she _accepted_ this? This was… fucking high profile. _Way too_ fucking high profile. Like, immediately attract _Jedi fucking attention_ high profile. And it was unofficial? Great, they’d strip her Bounty license as they tossed her in a rayshielded cell for the rest of her fucking life. And that was if she was _lucky_ and they didn’t realize just _who_ she was, which, fat fucking chance of that.

Asajj blinked. Hold on. This was _unofficial_ , what was binding her to do it? She’d just holomail back, saying, ech, something else had come up, or something, and the deal was off. Yeah, that’d do it. She briefly skimmed the full holomail. Yeah, not a fucking chance of this- though… she paused near the end. That was a _lot_ of credits. Enough to buy a new, _nice_ ship, and _then_ some. 

She grimaced. _No_ , Asajj, no. Keep your head down. Don’t give the Jedi, or worse, _Dooku,_ any reason to think you’re alive. The bounty hunter cracked her knuckles and quickly typed out a terse reply turning down the job. Nevermind that she had already said yes, they had nothing to hold over her. Huh, maybe she could even go to the Board with this and get commended. 

Well, maybe not, too. Asajj spun her chair around to face the rest of her room as she mused. That human had seemed affluent, might be better not to make an enemy of him. She pursed her lips and slowly turned her desk chair back towards the projection of the original holomail. _Buuut_ the credits... 

She sighed wistfully. No, the Trade Federation had already failed to kidnap the Senator of Pantora once, what made her think she could do any better?


	5. garden

Surrounded by the din of droids, Jedi, and civilians, deep in the Public Services sector of the Jedi Temple, Ahsoka was trying her hardest not to lose her temper.

"I am afraid that a booking within the next - **TWELVE MONTHS** \- is impossible, would you like to try another date?"

"Wh- Twelve months!?" Ahsoka sputtered, drawing glances from the other lineups in the bevy of kiosks around her. "What do you mean twelve months?"

"All Jedi Counsellors are engaged, on frontline duty, on vacation, or fully booked for the next - **ONE YEAR** -. Is there anything else I can help you with?" The expression the droid was giving her was so unflappably quizzical that for a second, Ahsoka felt like she had lost her mind.

"I need to see someone in the next two weeks so I can go back on duty! You can't-!" 

"You are a frontline combatant? You did not mention this," the droid spoke over her.

Ahsoka blinked. "Wha- Yes, I gave you my name! Shouldn't that be in the system?!" Why did things  _ always _ go this way with the kriffing public services droids?

"I am not authorized to view that information. Good news! - **Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano** -, you qualify for the Frontline Accelerated Counselling Waiting List."

Ahsoka let out the breath and tension she'd been holding. "Thank the Force. Well, like I said, any time in the next two weeks is-"

"I am afraid that a booking on the Frontline Accelerated Counselling Waiting List within the next - **NINE MONTHS** \- is impossible, would you like to try another date?"

Ahsoka turned and left without saying another word, not trusting herself to not violate the sanctity of the Jedi Temple's peaceful halls with every one of the  _ numerous _ expletives she had learned over several years of campaigning with hundreds of different species on many dozens of different worlds.

* * *

It was another hour before Ahsoka had stopped fuming enough to take a breath and really clear her head.

_ Why _ did everything to do getting a counsellor have to be so  _ convoluted _ ? Even before talking to that insufferable kriffing droid she had spent  _ two hours _ on a wild goose chase asking different officials where appointments were  _ actually booked _ . Which made her seriously wonder  _ how _ they were fully booked with how hard the droid was to identify.

Ugh, she took another deep breath of the clear air in the Temple Gardens. Ahsoka really needed to distract herself, she'd already watched several groups of happily chatting Jedi veer away from where she had been fuming. Even if the massive 'THIS PERSON IS PISSED' feeling she'd been no doubt giving off like a beacon in the force wasn't enough, she was pretty sure she'd been glaring holes in whatever direction she happened to be looking in as she had paced back and forth.

Speaking of which-  _ ow _ , her legs were aching, in fact her whole body was so physically tense it was painful. Deep breaths. She carefully untensed her shoulders and back, and walked over to the ornate stone bench that backed onto the edge of this particular clearing.

It was one of Ahsoka's favourite spots in the garden, a ring of manicured trees several deep around a clear area of flagstones set into the ground circling the mausoleum of Master Herkato, one of the more legendary Consulars. Pfft, there's a thought. Why in the Force's name did the Jedi have three major, potentially overlapping categories with such similar names? Consulars were a discipline of Jedi focused on using the force for mental acuity, Counsellors were Jedi of any stripe who had been trained in providing emotional counsel to any of their fellow Jedi who were troubled, and Councilors were Jedi who were members of one of the four Jedi Councils. Technically, one could have all three titles.

The absurdity of the thought made her giggle, and as she did it turned into a full blown laughing fit. Force, had she seriously just spent hours upset and angry that Jedi bureaucracy was inefficient when they had such convoluted traditions and naming schemes as Counsellor, Consular, and Councilor? What had she expected?

A minute later, her laughter quieting, Ahsoka leaned back and let her eyes wander up into the well-tended branches of one of the trees lining the clearing. A pair of small, four winged birds looked down at her curiously. A smile came to her face unbidden as she reached out to the force. Carefully, she scritched the little creature's necks, pleased with both how easy the force was coming to her, and with their happy chirping.  _ Clearly _ she wasn't the first one to grace these little guys with some affection. This was good. She had needed that bit of catharsis after this crappy day. Heck, crappy week. Crappy several years, even. Though, well, she'd need more than a quick chuckle to work through the stress of the entire war, but better something than nothing, she supposed.

Despite her mood clearing though, she was still no closer to getting herself an appointment with a Counsellor. She sighed and let the birds be, pushing up to her feet and catching sight once again of the tomb she'd been pacing angrily next to. Suddenly feeling somewhat embarrassed, she walked up to Master Herkato's mausoleum, and put her hand against the cool stone. "My apologies, Master Herkato." She mumbled. "For disturbing your rest with my unbalanced emotions."

It wasn't really her  _ fault _ or anything, but always safer to be polite about these things than not, in her experience. Stepping back, Ahsoka became aware of the heat of the midday Coruscanti sun on her back. It was just past noon then, the gardens would be filling up soon as groups of apprentices and Master/Padawan pairs came through on their midday break. With half a mind to just wander aimlessly for a while till she found somewhere secluded, Ahsoka turned away from Master Herkato’s clearing, and began making her way back to the Temple proper.

Or, she would have, if she wasn’t stopped by a familiar, surprised voice softly calling out to her.

“Ahsoka?”

Ahsoka froze and spun around, not quite sure if her heart was beating this fast because she was startled or because-

“Barriss!” She shouted, pushing the thought aside. With a grin the Padawan threw herself into a hug with her Mirialan friend, throwing them both slightly off balance. 

Barriss instinctively wrapped her own arms around Ahsoka, catching her and doing her level best to keep them both upright, despite the taller Togruta having a head of height and several pounds of muscle over Barriss. But, as she caught her friend, Barriss felt herself relax subconsciously too, an infinitesimal loosening of the tension she normally carried through her whole body. “Good to see you, Ahsoka.” She murmured.

Then, the woman behind her, who Barriss had briefly, blissfully forgotten about, loudly cleared her throat. Both Padawans snapped to attention and stepped apart, Ahsoka actually panicked and took several steps back, forcing Barriss to suppress a giggle.

“Padawan Tano, I was under the impression you and your Master were still out in the B Quadrant,” Barriss Offee’s own Master, Luminara Unduli said.

Ahsoka froze as the older Mirialan regarded her with one raised eyebrow. Master Unduli carried herself with a dignified poise that few other Jedi matched, something about it always put Ahsoka off balance. Perhaps it was that her own Master, and his Master in turn were each so significantly more… casual than Luminara. “I- Um,” Ahsoka stuttered, trying to regain her presence of mind, “Master Skywalker felt that I needed time away from the frontlines, so I’m on-world here for a couple weeks.”

Luminara’s expression seemed to soften marginally, “I see. Are you-”

“Time away? Are you injured, Ahsoka?” Barriss cut her Master off, and Ahsoka didn’t respond momentarily out of shock. That… wasn’t like her friend. She risked a quick sidelong glance at Master Luminara. Ah, she had her eyes closed and was taking deep breaths, that’s… probably fine.

“N-No, not injured Barriss, just-” Ahsoka wracked her brain for a reasonable excuse, “-having trouble… sleeping,” she finished blandly. She felt her cheeks heat up as she was met with the same unimpressed expression from the Mirialan Master and Padawan both. 

“Well, I hope that you find a healer who can resolve that for you, Ahsoka,” Luminara finally replied.

Barriss sighed, and fixed Ahsoka with an expression that clearly said she’d be digging into this later. “Quite. I’ll catch up with you later, okay? I have a  _ discussion _ to finish with my Master-” The frostiness and irreverence with which Barriss referred to Master Unduli was making Ahsoka feel… weird. It wasn’t so different from how Ahsoka was used to bantering with her own Masters, but something about Barriss’ tone, not to mention the mere context of her speaking that way to  _ Master Unduli _ of all people, changed the meaning of it all entirely.

“Actually, Barriss,” Luminara said, steel suddenly in her voice, “you’ve spoken quite enough for now. Spend some time with your fellow Padawan, and we shall continue  _ speaking _ later.”

Barriss froze and stood up straight, breaking eye contact with Ahsoka. Her face twisted into a sneer, which was forced down a moment later with a visible effort. After that second of silence, she inclined her head slightly, keeping her back to Luminara. “As you say, Master.”

Ahsoka flicked her eyes from one Mirialan to the other, her nerves growing more frayed with every tension filled second. “As you say, Master Unduli,” she managed to squeeze out, and bowed her head a bit further than Barriss' was. 

Luminara gave her an inscrutable look for a moment longer, then nodded and continued down the pathway the direction she and Barriss had been walking, her even stride and long robes almost making it look as though she was gliding along.

Barriss stayed stock still, eyes narrow, until her master had stalked out of sight. Then, the tension fled her body all at once, and she sagged down into a slouch with a sigh. 

"So… that was…"

Barriss glanced back up at Ahsoka, catching her raised eyebrows and small frown. "Yes, we're-" The Mirialan apprentice struggled to find the word for a moment, then gave up with a  _ harumph. _ "-I'd just prefer not to talk about it right now."

Ahsoka nodded and pursed her lips, then stepped to the side, motioning for her friend to walk with her. "Well, I can't say I'm in the mood to talk about why Master Skywalker sent me here either, why don't we just catch up over some noodles in the city?"

"Or…" Barriss suddenly straightened up, "we could do something more fun?"

"Fun?" 

Barriss maneuvered in front of the Togrutan Padawan. "When's the last time you practiced your dueling?" She asked with a sly smile.

" _ Practiced _ it?" Ahsoka hummed. "Months, probably. I've been in a few saber fights and used it plenty in battle, but I haven't done any  _ proper _ dueling."

"I think, then, that it would behoove us both to test ourselves against one another in the training rooms, no?"

Ahsoka shrugged easily as they started to walk through the growing throngs of Jedi to their new destination. "Yeah, that works for me. Funny, I didn't know you were all that interested in dueling, Barriss."

"I wasn't particularly, but I've gained a new appreciation of it in recent months."

"Oh? Any reason for that?"

Barriss shrugged uneasily, and turned to look away from Ahsoka. "I came off on the worse end of a few saber based engagements, I believed that studying up on the forms would help me avoid being a liability in the future."

"And?"

Barriss finally looked back at her with a grin as they arrived at the entrance of the training pits. "I guess you'll just have to come and judge for yourself." She said, then swept into the pits, looking for a free one for the two of them.

Ahsoka shook her head. Something about Barriss' behaviour was bugging her. She seemed a little wilder, or a little less… hinged, than the reserved young woman Ahsoka had known… Force, how many months had it been since she'd seen her?

She supposed it made sense that someone could change in that amount of time. And it's not like a little extra assertiveness and spunk were  _ bad _ . In fact, once she got over the weirdness of seeing Barriss act this way, she felt more drawn to her friend than ever. 

Nodding seriously to herself she hurried to follow Barriss into the training pits. Whatever was going on between her and Master Unduli, she would do her best to support her friend. And for now, that meant trying not to humiliate her too badly in a duel.


End file.
